mused with mary

Find something you think is important and spend your life supporting it. How does one find meaning in the mundane, spontaneity in the ordinary, and purpose in the routine? These are questions I think about often, and I don’t think anyone knows. But I do think some are closer than others. I read a book over Christmas break that impacted me deeply (I wrote about it on here), and what I took away from it was the basic human need to do meaningful work. Some would argue that life should be spent pursuing fantastical adventures, exploring the unknown, living robust and exciting lives…and while this is true to some extent, it is supremely unconventional and sometimes plainly unattainable. I am a person that sometimes gets carried away on these lofty, imaginative thoughts as well, but nonetheless I find my roots and become grounded in the practicality of life. So what do we do when we can’t spend our lives traveling the globe, jumping out of airplanes, investing in nonprofit organizations, saving the lives of homeless people, writing best-selling books? I think my personal answer was revealed to me by a classmate in my European literature class yesterday. We were discussing The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus. While we didn’t read this piece, there was a metaphor that we discussed. This was the vision of someone pushing a rock, up a hill, only to never reach the top. This person spent his whole life, some would say ignorantly, pushing a stone up the hill to never become satisfied in his efforts. In a way, we spend our entire lives doing the same thing. Maybe we are pushing along many stones, exerting ourselves in unnecessary ways, only to find that the end was never our goal. The entire journey is about the stone. What does all of this metaphysical, philosophical jargon mean anyways? For me, really a practical person, it means finding a stone I think worthy of spending my life pushing. Identifying, consciously, what it means to do meaningful work. It means actively engaging in my life in ways that I have been gifted, and exploring the limits of those treasures. Viktor Frankl would say that our fundamental human condition rests on doing and performing meaningful, purposeful work. This may not be a traditional “job”, but instead a cause that we support, a belief we are rooted in, or a purpose we feel destined to fulfill. Or, it may be a traditional vocation where we can utilize and implore our skills, grow, change, and transform. For me, what my stone is becomes clearer every day. Admittedly, there will be (and are) doubts (why should I spend my time doing this anyways?) but whether we are aware of it or not, we are all pushing something. Maybe yours is social media, the opinions of others, and mediocrity. Maybe it is a watered-down version of yourself. Maybe it is what your family and friends want for you instead of what you want for yourself. It really only takes conscious knowledge to change these things, and I have found myself in these examples as well. We are all spending our time, energies, and lives supporting something. For me, I want to be a part of this process. I want to push a stone that allows me to transform lives through my curiosities and my skills. I want to spend my life pushing myself towards fulfilling a greater purpose than I could ever be. I want to care for people in their most vulnerable state, discover new ideas, advance our understanding of the human condition and the science behind it. I want to allow myself creative exploration and the ability to write when I want. I want to permeate love and kindness and grace and hope in the places I share with those I cherish. Simply, I want to dedicate myself and my time to something meaningful. I think everyone does. The important part is to find that thing that makes you light up inside and is worth your time and energy. We all have them, and we will spend all of our lives pushing, supporting, sacrificing, all that we have to navigate that stone up the hill towards what we consider a meaningful and promising life.