strength in uncertainty

Two summers ago I was probably in a steadfast sleep with ambitious plans to lay by the pool all day. I would likely wake up and plan for the day’s activities, carry them out in an effortless manner, and plan to do the same thing the next day. Fast forward two years and I wake up everyday around 6:00am, work in the lab until sometimes 6:00pm and spend my evenings snuggled away with a book or an episode of Fixer Upper. I contrast these two explicitly to highlight how things have changed. My life has changed dramatically, in more ways than just the activities I do during the summer, and it has been challenging. I had first written the word hard, but I don’t want the negative connotations surrounding that word to be a mental stopping block. Challenging is a better word because challenges involve change. It is challenging to try to determine what I want to do with my life. It is indeed a challenging task to try to figure out the perfect place that my skills and passion meet. It is challenging to be away from my family both now and while in school. Going away to college to study has been one of the most enlightening, motivating, and exciting things to happen to me. With it has come with new worries, fears, and challenges though. I say all of this not to simply express how going through life changes are difficult but to disclose a few words of treasured advice from someone I trust very deeply.

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks of oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies – in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 4:10-11

I read this over this morning and was truly shocked at how reading the bible can resonate to the core of the issues I am dealing with or that I know others are dealing with. The truth is, as much as we dislike it, we are not going to get an envelope in the mail from God revealing what career we should choose or what job is best suited for us. We will not have an epiphany moment where our dreams reveal the exact place in the world we belong to serve. Instead, we are given the freedom to choose how we want to spend the rest of our life. If I knew that I was going to have spend everyday seeking the millions of potential jobs that God has called me to do, I would be overcome with anxiety. Instead, I know that instead He has called me to focus on much bigger, more important things. He cares much less about the specific job I will be doing and much more on the spirit I will have while getting there and executing that career. Above, Peter tells us that we have each been given some kind of unique gift. To this gift’s end, we should use it to enhance and beautify the lives of others. We serve one another. I feel like when people think of serving one another they think of jobs and careers in healthcare or education or social work. I think these are exclusively narrowed careers and that there are way more opportunities to serve God than just treating the sick and educating children. I first think of Tim Tebow. Not many would assume that the job of a professional athlete is to serve others in the way God has asked us too. But Tim Tebow took the career and passion that he loved and sought to glorify and serve God with the talent that he was granted. Every piece of my being believes that each human on this earth has been given some kind of unique gift. It may not have manifested yet, but it resides deep within your inner being. It may need awakening, or a trigger event, or some kind of opportunity to unfold but deep within it remains there. I trust what God says, and he says that we have each received a talent. We may not be told exactly what future to pursue, which I think is another exemplary model of God’s grace and freedom. He gives us the freedom to choose Him, choose our future, choose our friends, choose our life. He gives us freedom and ways to use that freedom.

Once we decide how we want to spend our futures, or how we think we want to spend our futures, we should diligently seek God’s strength to serve and return to Him the glory that we receive for our work. This is a cornerstone for my life. Everything that I do in my pursuits to become a doctor or scientist or whatever my life unfolds, I seek to do those things in and through God’s power and grace. Only through Him alone have I been able to come as far as I have. I will seek Him everyday through every endeavor I become a part of. I don’t have it all figured out and I certainly have a lot of anxiety about my future. But I take it one day at a time, one moment at a time, and look to God to fill those places I hold fear and uncertainty. I felt like I needed to share this with those trying to determine their future – it’s not easy. But God has given us all individualized talents and the fortifying strength to use them, and to use them well.

 

new year

Happy New Year’s Eve!

2015 was one of my greatest years so far. I have seen myself grow so much just in the past few months and look forward to how much I will learn about myself and my future in the next year as well. God has blessed me beyond what I deserve this year. My highlights of 2015 include:

  • Gaining my beautiful, healthy baby nephew
  • Getting nominated, interviewed, and selected as Presidential Scholar
  • Spending prom night in Nashville with my very best friends (whom I miss so much)
  • Being Valedictorian for the class of 2015 and the great experiences that entailed
  • Spending two lovely weeks at the beach with my family
  • Taking my first, REAL yoga class at Glow Yoga in Gulf Shores, AL
  • Relaxing over the summer and reading some extraordinary books
  • Shadowing a cardiac electrophysiologist at Vanderbilt
  • Attending NEEDTOBREATHE and For King and Country concerts
  • Moving to Belmont, living with my amazing roommates, and making lifelong memories
  • Getting the opportunity to conduct biological research in neuroscience
  • Finding my niche at Ethos church
  • Continuing to learn through difficult times and lean more dependently on God
  • Realizing life isn’t perfect, and it never will be. But that isn’t what makes it beautiful.

In 2016, I have decided to change up my blog posts! I am going to post more frequently and hopefully I can help others with some of the things I have decided to write about. As you probably know, I am a college student studying biochemistry and wanting to pursue medicine. I would love to incorporate more of my study techniques, my ways to navigate through difficult material, and different things related to my course of study. I am going to post more about my journey through yoga and how I became interested in yoga. I will continue my posts about concepts and ideas, and I look forward to sharing more of my opinions on philosophical texts and ideas. I also want to spend more time focusing on Christianity and spirituality. So if you are interested in very different hobbies and interests, I welcome you to my blog!

For 2016 you can look for posts that center around:

  • My journey as a science major and pre-Med student
  • My ways to find happiness and motivation in high stress situations
  • My thoughts on various scientific and philosophical texts, concepts, and ideas
  • My journey as a yogi, health and wellness tips, and ways to find healthy eats in different places
  • My occasional beauty post or recommendations
  • My raw and vulnerable thoughts as I navigate through difficult times
  • My reasons for being a Christian and some of the readings I find helpful

I am excited about this change for my blog, but I look forward to continuing the types of posts I have been about since day one. I hope many of you can find ways to help me in various aspects of my life as well. I pray for all of you to have a happy new year, and find many joys and successes in 2016!