identity

What if your identity

Is not found in the big city

But in a small town

Where few people are brown or black

But mostly different shades of white

And every day the sun shines down as they

Continue to fight the good fight

To pay the bills

And maybe some buy the pills

Just to get the thrill

To survive.

Not thrive, because that would mean breaking out

Of the shell that looked like hell

But to others looked like a quiet Main Street

And a few stop lights

And county fair nights

And a simple, little peaceful town.

Sometimes your identity is not in

Prestige and honor and fame

But in the sincere scene of a gathered team

To pray before a game

Or a group gathered to cry

Over a blown out flame of someone loved

Who just lost the fight.

The good fight.

What if your identity isn’t in big city skies

But catching fireflies

In the evening light

And yelling hey to the neighbor who just passed by

And leaving your doors unlocked at night.

I’m learning, though,

Your identity isn’t where you are

It’s who you are

It’s the stories you carry within you

Not the culmination

Of your awards and accreditations

But your soul

Your sense of why

Your sense of who you are.

No matter how far away you go,

Hold onto your identity,

like a rope,

steadfastly.

find your happy place!

I frequently write about love. But that’s because love is so, SO important to me. Realizing this has dramatically changed my perspective on various things and people in my life. Loving others only creates a more peaceful inner self for me. Loving my everyday interactions gives me a purpose for all of the tasks I complete within a day. Loving someone else romantically gives me encouragement and constant support. Loving God gives me hope, reason, and understanding. Loving myself gives me confidence and self-success. Loving difficulty gives me triumph over obstacles. Love makes the world go ’round. Love drives people to achieve their dreams and marry their soul mates. Love is what pushes me to be great and never settle for less. Love is what makes me appreciate myself when I feel sluggish, disappointed, and not very beautiful. Love is what goes. Love perseveres. Love is determined to weave its way into my life. Yours, too.

As a teenage girl in high school, there are great implications that it is time to find a boyfriend. Find a boyfriend, even if he doesn’t meet your standards. Even if he isn’t the best person for you. Even if your parents don’t like him. Even if you don’t really like him. Just make sure you aren’t alone. Make sure you aren’t drifting through high school discovering who you are as a person.

Because that would be bad.

Intimate love has a time in our lives. In my opinion, it is AFTER you have established who you are as a person. Run a trial with yourself. If you can’t go 2 weeks without depending on a significant other for affection, attention, and admiration, then it’s time to sculpt and identify who you are as a person. It’s so important! Relationships are essential in our lives, no doubt. But constant confirmation from a guy for your self worth is only harmful and toxic. Not essential.

Become aware. Become aware of the thoughts that invade your mind when you first wake up. Become aware of how you feel when others talk to you. Do you feel happy? Do you feel insecure? Do you feel ashamed of who you are? Do you feel proud? Do you feel embarrassed? Assess. Assess your surroundings. Assess your emotions. Analyze. I am such an over analyzer. Situations, emotions, feelings, reactions. But by analyzing I find the things that drive deep into the root of who I am and flip the switch that makes me happy and makes me feel calm and comforted; I also know what does the opposite. So analyze your day. Analyze what you pick out to wear and why you wear it. Is it for you? Is it for a boy? Is it for impression or is it because YOU like it? Analyze how others treat you. Require respect. If you don’t like the way someone speaks to you or speaks around you, verbalize it. If you don’t like the way you think or speak, change it. You are not bound to your old ways. Everyday is honestly a new page. Write accordingly to how you feel and what makes you happy.

Back to love. By determining why things are happening the way they are and figuring out who is in charge of your life, you will learn to love. You will learn to love the appropriate way. When you straighten your life out and find your identity, you will love who you are. You will learn that you control how others treat you and how they think about you. You will learn that you love who you are. Your quirks. Your interests. Do not hide your interests. I get playfully ridiculed all the time for being “nerdy”. But guess what, I love to learn! It makes me happy. It makes me powerful. I love knowledge and that is not something I am ashamed of. If you love to play video games on the computer, then own that! If you love girly things, then love those things! LOVE WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! Love what makes your soul smile.

When you spend all of this time deciding you are worth it and deciding that others can’t inflict pain and disappointment upon you any longer, you will realize you don’t need affection, admiration, or attention from anyone else. Like a wise woman once said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

The thought that struck me today was that you don’t need someone else to be happy. Find your niche. Find the nooks and crannies of the world that suit your needs and connect with your soul. Find your calling. Find your happy place. Go there, and go there alone. Remain an individual in your relationship. Never lose your identity and never lose your love for yourself.

Random blog post, but I feel very passionately about this subject. Too many young girls are getting caught up in boys and worldy things before they know who they are. You are beautiful, worthy, and important. Never forget that.

Happy Friday!