Man’s Search for Meaning

Sometimes you read books that flood you with emotion and leave you with wonder (and admittedly, a few tears). Honestly, I have not written a lot lately – at least in an expressive and creative way. I have, however, tried to implement more reading into my life to supplement the mechanistic and mathematical coursework I had this semester. It was a serendipitous pleasure to hear about a book called Man’s Search for Meaning. After attempts to read this book over the past month, I finally finished it today, warmly curled up in front of the glowing Christmas tree. While reading Viktor Frankl’s prized writing, I kept thinking to myself how important the message of this book was (and understood why it has been loved for so many years). Man’s Search for Meaning is a recount of the experiences that Viktor Frankl endured during Nazi concentration camp imprisonment. The conditions he describes and the lens he gives on human behavior during the unfathomable life of a camp deeply impacted me. This is not a book purely describing the harsh experiences of Auschwitz though, Dr. Viktor Frankl writes from his psychiatric and neurological training, his philosophical and religious curiosity, and ultimately his desire to help others learn the meaning of their own life.

Undoubtedly, the aim of my own life is to find meaning in my work and in my actions. I believe this looks different for every single person. Despite commonly held truths or life ambitions, every person has unique and individual encounters on a daily basis that shape who they are and who the world interprets them to be. I have come to learn life as continued decision-making; seemingly meaningless, everyday decisions ultimately form the mosaic that our lives become. They form what we look back on and see and the legacy we leave for ourselves. The minute-to-minute decisions that shape our lives are in our control, and I believe that. I don’t think of life as definite determinism or a blind, random outcomes. The culmination of our lives and the efforts we work towards are the products of our own decisions. Instead of just stating my personal opinion, I’ll share some of the meaningful concepts that Viktor Frankl describes in his book. I would love to describe everything that I found to be important, but that would take an entire book itself. Instead, I will focus on what I found to be most applicable in my life right now, and hopefully yours, too.


It is important to note the perspective that Viktor Frankl writes from. A brief biography – Dr. Viktor Frankl is a trained psychiatrist and neurologist. During World War II he was deported from Vienna to the Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz and later other  camps. He endured the most inhumane forms of torture and neglect; and writes extensively about these. The first half of the book focuses on his experiences. He details the way his physical human identity was stripped from him, and he was subjected to the lifestyle of an animal. He writes of what he observed – the way the human body and brain could be in conflict, the profound way prisoners could unite together on the basis of mere survival, and the intentional and developing mental coping mechanisms he used to survive the years he spent surrounded by death and suffering. The second half of the book focuses on a therapeutic technique that Frankl coined as “logotherapy”. The use of this technique focuses, not on Freudian psychotherapeutic techniques, but on realizing and actualizing the meaning of one’s life.

Frankl explicitly notes that it is impossible to generalize the meaning of life and any attempts at this are pointless. Instead, he focuses on meaning of one’s life in a moment, in a day. He writes,

“We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life-daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”

Frankl writes that every person has the potential to lead a meaningful life. Importantly, he writes that the meaning of each life is unique to the individual. I mentioned earlier that my life and its goals, although similar to someone with comparable circumstances or ambitions, is vastly different than the other person’s. Each day, I encounter different circumstances, different people, and different opportunities than that person. I have a way of thinking that is unique to me and that I can use to bring meaning to my life and vice versa for the other person.

Throughout this book, I kept thinking of the grand-scheme meaning I want for my life. Not surprisingly, I want to be a physician and for many reasons. The principal reason of course to alleviate the human suffering and to improve the lives of others through knowledge. This is a noble pursuit, and one that many of my best friends aspire for as well. However, I firmly believe that my pursuit of being a physician is no more noble than the person that aims to improve lives through music or art, literature or physical improvement, through economic and financial freedom, through education and teaching. As a college student, the focus is largely on the impact I (we all) hope to have through our endeavors. The college student is asked what he or she wants to become and the recipient makes a judgement on the utility of that answer, often in terms of monetary or material success. While this is the topic of an entirely different blog post, I think I learned something very valuable from A Man’s Search for Meaning on this very concept.

Although my career ambitions are important to me, Frankl showed me that the meaning of my life is not in the final picture or lasting legacy of my life. Instead, it is in the moments I have now. The incredibly valuable moments I have as a young, free, and responsible individual. The moments I have to give meaning every day, to a friend or family member, to a stranger. The days I can spend devoting my time to a cause that is focused not on myself but on others. It is not my obligation but my responsibility to do what life asks of me, with the talents and time I have been given. I see my friends and peers struggle with the grandeur meaning of life. I struggle with this as well. I think everyone does. There is a commonly accepted belief that we work hard in our twenties to reap the benefits in our thirties. I personally feel that when life is reduced to a series of sacrifices for a future goal, bitterness is likely to ensue. Envisioning and being hopeful for the future was a very successful mechanism that Dr. Frankl used to escape the atrocities of the concentration camp; he spoke daily with his wife, in his mind. He lived for the day he would be reunited with those he loved. This worked for the maintenance of his sanity in the harsh conditions of the concentration camp but is something I feel logotherapy and his theories conflict with.

Life is most meaningful now. A natural message that Frankl writes about is the ability to experience meaning in life despite suffering. He writes from a very personal perspective. He found meaning in life through the famine, filth, and fatigue he experienced. Through the friends he witnessed dying and the patients he had to watch suffer. The meaning of his life was not compromised despite his becoming a number and a body, awaiting an order to the gas chambers. I want to emphasize that Viktor Frankl’s story is indeed heroic, but it is not the exception. Finding meaning in suffering is possible. Suffering doesn’t always look like the inside of a Nazi concentration camp. Sometimes it looks like the loss of a job, the death of a friend, the divorce of parents, the failure at a goal, the anxious thoughts that seem permanent. Sometimes suffering is temporary and sometimes it is chronic. The difference between the person that suffers with overwhelming depression and meaninglessness and the person that suffers with integrity and optimism is simply the refocusing of perspective and attitude. Again, Frankl’s wise words resound,

“The perception of meaning differs from the classical concept of Gestalt perception insofar as the latter implies that the sudden awareness of a ‘figure’ on a ‘ground,’ whereas the perception of meaning, as I see it, more specifically boils down to becoming aware of a possibility against the background of reality or, to express it in plain words, to becoming aware of what can be done about a given situation . . . If, on the other hand, one cannot change a situation that causes his suffering, he can still choose his attitude.”

I don’t think that Frankl’s theories are simplistic, but I do think they are very pragmatic and applicable. He doesn’t write his recollection of Nazi imprisonment to reinforce lofty philosophical and psychological theories, but to disperse the knowledge he has used to overcome the real threat of a meaningless life. I highly recommend this book. It taught me how to deal with my personal suffering, what it means to lead a meaningful life, and the importance of sharing all of this with others in the way that Dr. Viktor Frankl has.


It feels so good to read and write on break! Next up: a fun read of the Sherlock Holmes’ mysteries. Life is all about balance, right? I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

 

5 books you need to read and think about

“Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.” – C.S. Lewis

My life feels particularly desert-like in this respect right now. While I love my science courses and really find them fascinating, I deeply miss writing and reading literature and philosophy. When thinking about how I feel a little unbalanced because I am so focused my other passions, I decided I would share some books that are my favorites and encouraged me to have deep reflection. Some of them are autobiographical nonfiction, some are simply fiction, but they are all incredible and close to my heart. Here are 5 books you need to read and think about! I offer some of the thoughts that followed my reading of the books that maybe you would find helpful if you read decide to read them. Try to reflect on the passages and glean some of the important messages that ruminate throughout them. And just like I have to remind myself, remember that in life, balance is everything. Never let the other things you love fall to the wayside in pursuit of your dreams.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

This is undoubtedly one of the most moving books I have ever read. I even wrote an entire post about my thoughts from this book, and I suggest reading that post after you have treated yourself to this book! Dr. Paul Kalanithi was a Stanford neurosurgeon who was unfortunately diagnosed with late stage IV lung cancer. This book is more than a memoir by a doctor; it makes you experience and feel what it is like to face death. This is a man’s honest and eye-opening journey to the end of his life. It is poetic. It is reflective and deeply emotional. I admire Dr. Kalanithi’s diverse passions and the ways he catered to both his reflective, literary side (by pursuing study in literature and philosophy) and the inquisitive, mechanistic side of life (through scientific study of medicine). He writes beautifully. This is a must read. I couldn’t put it down!

Thoughts for reflection: If I was looking back on my life, what have I made important? Have I been happy with my life or have I lived in chase of something else? What would I begin pursuing if I knew the moments I had were limited?

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Quiet is a book for introverts and extroverts alike. This book transformed the way I view my idiosyncratic behaviors. It made me realize it is okay to want to stay home. It is okay to want to work alone and prefer small friend groups. It is equally okay to be gregarious and love social environments. It made me realize that the qualities exhibited by introverted and extroverted people are all valuable. This is a nonfiction book full of thoroughly researched information about human behavior. It is amazing! It has some interesting pieces of psychology and sociology throughout. It shows the functional and dynamic world that we live in and the ways that all the different moving pieces work together perfectly. Highly recommend. (Watch Susan Cain’s amazing TED talk here: Susan Cain’s The Power of Introverts)

Thoughts for reflection: How can I embrace who I am without feeling guilty or bad? What type of environment makes me feel most comfortable and loved? What parts of me are introverted and what parts are extroverted? How can I encourage others to be true to themselves in a conformist society?

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Okay, I had to include this book because it is a classic read. Most people have read To Kill a Mockingbird, maybe in school for a class. For those that haven’t read, Harper Lee writes a book written from the perspective of a child named Scout about the struggles and perceptions of an unjust world. This book makes me feel childlike and more aware of the struggles within this world. For a child, Scout gives wisdom that we can all learn from. I think this book, published in 1960, can still give a powerful message to the society we live in today. Also, I have always had the biggest fictional crush on Atticus Finch, Scout’s father and the lawyer who fights for justice. Ahh. 

Thoughts for reflection: What have I become okay with that Scout, a child, would even know is wrong? Is the world we are living in today actually any different than the corrupt world that Scout was in? How can we fight for and seek the Truth in this life?

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

Nerdy confession: I had to read a few chapters of this for a First Year Seminar class and I actually fell in love with it and had to read the whole thing (which took me a day). Randy Pausch writes an autobiographical book of important advice for living. Dr. Pausch was a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University and had recently been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. A young professor with small children and a wife, Dr. Pausch pours wisdom into this book that I use and remember every day. And yes, it made me weep like a baby (and books don’t make me cry). Just read it. Circle, underline, highlight his advice, even rip pages out and hang them up on your mirror.

Thoughts for reflection: How can I start using the advice that Dr. Pausch shares? Am I being sincere to myself and to those around me? How can I love more deeply with the days I am given?

Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson

This book is one of my favorite of all time. I generally do not prefer fictional books, especially romantic fiction books, but this is different. This book makes me feel safe, loved, and hopeful. This is one of the first books I remember reading as a young girl (which is funny because it’s a James Patterson book… I have always been older than my age), and I think it holds some sentimental value because of this reason. I grab for this book when I need to escape this frightening, stressful world. It is so comforting. Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas is about the interwoven relationships of love, despair, happiness, hurt, and life. It moves to you Martha’s Vinyard to watch the lives of two playful personalities fall in harmonious synchrony. This book is a gentle reminder that the most beautiful things in life are sometimes greeted with pain and suffering.

Thoughts for reflection: If I was writing for someone, who would it be and what would I want to say? How can I invite the playfulness and simplicity into my life that Suzanne and Matt have in their own lives?

Well, there you have it! Five of my favorite books that I think everyone should read. Don’t just read them though, feel them, embrace them. Write about what you feel and think deeply about what the author is trying to give you. I am always welcoming book suggestions that I can curl up with and get lost in. What are some of your favorite books?

 

 

 

new year

Happy New Year’s Eve!

2015 was one of my greatest years so far. I have seen myself grow so much just in the past few months and look forward to how much I will learn about myself and my future in the next year as well. God has blessed me beyond what I deserve this year. My highlights of 2015 include:

  • Gaining my beautiful, healthy baby nephew
  • Getting nominated, interviewed, and selected as Presidential Scholar
  • Spending prom night in Nashville with my very best friends (whom I miss so much)
  • Being Valedictorian for the class of 2015 and the great experiences that entailed
  • Spending two lovely weeks at the beach with my family
  • Taking my first, REAL yoga class at Glow Yoga in Gulf Shores, AL
  • Relaxing over the summer and reading some extraordinary books
  • Shadowing a cardiac electrophysiologist at Vanderbilt
  • Attending NEEDTOBREATHE and For King and Country concerts
  • Moving to Belmont, living with my amazing roommates, and making lifelong memories
  • Getting the opportunity to conduct biological research in neuroscience
  • Finding my niche at Ethos church
  • Continuing to learn through difficult times and lean more dependently on God
  • Realizing life isn’t perfect, and it never will be. But that isn’t what makes it beautiful.

In 2016, I have decided to change up my blog posts! I am going to post more frequently and hopefully I can help others with some of the things I have decided to write about. As you probably know, I am a college student studying biochemistry and wanting to pursue medicine. I would love to incorporate more of my study techniques, my ways to navigate through difficult material, and different things related to my course of study. I am going to post more about my journey through yoga and how I became interested in yoga. I will continue my posts about concepts and ideas, and I look forward to sharing more of my opinions on philosophical texts and ideas. I also want to spend more time focusing on Christianity and spirituality. So if you are interested in very different hobbies and interests, I welcome you to my blog!

For 2016 you can look for posts that center around:

  • My journey as a science major and pre-Med student
  • My ways to find happiness and motivation in high stress situations
  • My thoughts on various scientific and philosophical texts, concepts, and ideas
  • My journey as a yogi, health and wellness tips, and ways to find healthy eats in different places
  • My occasional beauty post or recommendations
  • My raw and vulnerable thoughts as I navigate through difficult times
  • My reasons for being a Christian and some of the readings I find helpful

I am excited about this change for my blog, but I look forward to continuing the types of posts I have been about since day one. I hope many of you can find ways to help me in various aspects of my life as well. I pray for all of you to have a happy new year, and find many joys and successes in 2016!